IT is quite sad when you look around the world today and see what people call friendship. The true definition of a friend has lost its value in the man to man relationship. The value of friend or friendship can only be found in the definition, the actual act of friendship has gone sour.
What is being called friendship today is defined by how much money you have, what design of clothes (perfume, shoes etc.), the kind of food and wine on your table, if you have strong economic or political power and other good things of life. No wonder some people now choose to live in self deception in order to get friends that will approve of them. They borrow cars, clothes, jewelleries, shoes, money and all other things that they feel will make them acceptable to other high-class people.
This is the period when what you have in possession, defines your friendship with others and others with you. No wonder the bible says, the friends of the rich gathers around him, but the poor has no friend, although he pursues after them, the further they go away from him.
There are many definitions for who a Friend is. According to free online dictionary, a friend is a person whom one knows, likes, and trust. Another definition says a friend is a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. While another definition went further to expatiate on who a real friend is; it says; a real friend is someone who it’s okay to fart in front of, you don’t mind talking to on the bus for at-least 20 minutes, you can borrow #750 and never have to pay it back.
Many persons today have boxed the real content of friendship and have thrown it into the deep blue sea, where it can never be recovered. As it stands, people now call their sex partners friend, including the ones they are not dating and the ones they paid to have sex with. These days friendship is nothing less than what they call ‘‘friends for benefits.’’
Gone are those days when a friend will come to your house, and assist you to wash clothes if you have so much to wash and also follow you to the market. When the friend want to finally go home, you guys will gist along the way to the friend’s bus stop and still come back to your street and then finally back to the bus stop. This is so because you never wish to separate from each other, but today everyone is in a hurry to part-ways.
One of the principles of friendship is that you must be friendly before you can have friends. Be nice, open minded about things then you will see people flock around you. A true friend would not try to steal your girl/boyfriend, your job, or personality and for you to be a true friend, you should not think of doing these things to who so ever you call friend.
Being a good friend is not always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some people will stay by your side, but many would not and you will realise that each friendship you keep is priceless. For sure you have to be a good friend, in order for you to make and have good ones too and it takes a lot of effort and care. To be a good friend, you have to establish a trusting friendship, be there for your friend during hard times, and deepen a friendship to make it last.
A true friend would always or most times keep his or her promise. True friends never make a promise that cannot be kept except when something beyond their capacity crops up and this is not often. A true friend will always explain why they could not carry out their promise. They are dependable; being dependable is one of the most important aspects of being a good friend. A good friend should be able to stick out his/her neck for you when there is need and he or she should be able to count on you for something.
A true friend will always apologise when they make mistakes and not just apologise, but do the apology with a sincere heart. Good friends are honest about their feelings towards the other partner, and the partner’s actions. It is of essence to state here that being honest is different from being blunt. For instance when you have a friend that lie a lot, what you need to do is to have a conversation with that friend and talk everything through. Calling him/her a liar before everyone, would only build a bad image for that your friend and you are making that friend of yours vulnerable to attacks from other people; this action is not being honest rather, it being blunt.
In trying to be honest with your friend, be real, original, connect with the person whom you value on a deep level if you want to have sustainable, long-term friendship. Invest in people you can be yourself around. If your behaviour lacks sincerity, your friendship would not last.
Anybody that uses you cannot really be a good friend. A friend is not supposed to use or make the other person feel used at any point in time. Some persons go to the extent of becoming friend with another person, in order to be accepted into a clique and this is not friendship rather its opportunism and eventually a shallow nature of your involvement will reveal itself.
Friendship is about give and take. Sure, it may be really convenient for your friend to be helping you do one or two things, but make sure you do something in return. It might not necessarily be immediately, but do something so as to prevent your friend from developing the ‘‘I have been used mind set’’ unintentionally.
