BENIN CITY – Some folk nitpick about the disconcerting growing culture in some African societies on the “celebration of life” of people at funerals.
Why do we people spare birthday parties or appreciate our loved one while alive but give ”befitting burials” when the person has journeyed beyond and cannot hear or feel anything? They quiz.
Birthdays normally offer us that special moment to honour people who have impacted our lives positively. To let the celebrants and the whole world know how grateful and proud we are for the their lives and legacies.
Recently, social media platforms go agog with birthday celebrations of users but most times the celebration stops at the virtual space with only flowery words and pictures. Only few people travel miles to attend birthday parties but no so with funerals.
So when Benin City was painted red on Sunday for the eighty-two birthday bash of Dcns. Ayo Eguavoen, it dimmed posthumous and sometimes hollow funeral tributes that our society has become so engrossed with.
Now, the worthy mother and grandmother will live to savour the sweet memories of her birthday celebration which was quite magnificent with over one thousand dignitaries far and near looking in their finest styles to honour Iye, a Benin name for Matriarch.
Dcns Ayo’s children all attributed their successes in life to the sacrifices of their mother whom they all described as “virtous woman”. They recalled how their mom would go extra miles to ensure that they were well fed and went to school.
Even after their dad was ill for over a decade and eventually passed on, their “wonderful mother remained a strong pillar for the family”.
The party also presented an opportunity for them to specially thank their mom for looking after their late dad for the many years he was down with paralysis. “Only a virtous woman who’s caring, compassionate and hard-working” can do what she did. One of daughters said.
A peep into Dcns. Eguavoen’s biography tells a story of “an industrious young woman who is also selfless in relating with people”. Born in 1940, Iye understood early in life the dignity of labour and the benefits of industry.
It was this quest for self reliance that made her a keen learner when she was enrolled in seamstress training under the direction of Mrs. Uhunnamen Ologboso of blessed memories. She recalled how she was loved by her mistress due to her “dedication to work and being responsible for the different task that was given”.
The seamstress certificate Dcns. Ayo Eguaveon earned as a teenager remains the only educational qualification of her life that she never stops telling her children and grandchildren about.
While paying tribute to her mother, Pastor (Mrs) Gladys Ohenzuwa who is the second child and first daughter of Dcns. Eguavoen said: “though you never had a former education, you hold PhD in smartness because as a seamstress, you can take measurements of twenty women, never write them down yet will never forget them”
A marvelled Gladys recalled that her excellent seamstress mother hardly made amends to clothes she made for her clients. “My mother still makes her own clothes. Sometimes I just wonder how she does those things so effortlessly”, she said.
On a special day set aside to honour to a well deserved Matriarch whom her offsprings said their stories can not be complete without a recurring respect to the great roles she played, they minced no words to tell guests how they felt.
Charles Eguaveon who is the octogenarian’s first child described her as ” the rock that I know I can always lean on without hesitation and doubt”. With a reassuring smiles, he said “nothing can separate me from my mother, she’s paid her dues and it’s our time to give her the due respect”.
Otasowie Eguaveon, another son was particularly excited “that am not here to pay funeral tribute but to celebrate my beloved mother alive, a virtuous woman who has done well for her children and her family at large”. He remembered the sacrifices their mother made to give them good education despite she was not so privileged.
“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.” said the Holy Bible. Dcns Eguaveon no doubt has the rare crown of a fufilled motherhood whose children are proud of.
At 82, Iye’s “children rise up and call her blessed” and was her husband alive today, he would rightly say of her: ”Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all”
This is the honour of a lifetime accorded a Nigerian mother whose sacrifices for her four sons and two daughters have yielded fruits and today are proud dual citizens of United States of America and Nigeria.
If the “Joys of Motherhood” a novel written by Buchi Emecheta in 1979 include being taken care of in old age, being surrounded by grandchildren, and being honored as a wife and mother, then Dcns. Ayo Eguaveon has rightly reaped them all in abundance.
