YEARS back, marriage used to be a sacred institution in union between a matured man and a woman who may have divergent views of life but deemed it fit to live together as husband and wife due to love.
Then, even though some married more than one wife, yet less battery, infidelity and divorce were witnessed.
According to wikipedia the encyclopedia, divorce is the termination of marital union, cancelling of legal duties and responsibilities of marriage thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a married couple under the rule of law of the particular country or state.
The incidence of divorce which is a complex phenomenon in human relationship is assuming proportion in Nigeria in recent times especially as divorce has been found to have social, psychological and educational effects on children and even the spouses themselves.
Meanwhile, some experts contend that the availability of divorce laws have helped weaken the strength of marriage, making it difficult for couple to work out the inevitable difficulties that arise in marriage but is divorce truly the answer for family instability?
Most of the prevailing factors behind divorce have been streamlined to;
Lack of communication:” Where one partner expects the other will figure out what they want; without saying it.
Infidelity:
Partners become unfaithful to one another.
Finances:
Disagreements over financial responsibilities or monetary investments.
Sexual incompatibility; that results in sexual dissatisfaction or reproductive incapability.
Addictive behaviour; which may include overtime emotional, physical or psychological abuse. To mention but a few.
No matter how divorce is viewed, the fact is that it exacts some influence on the quality of life of family members. All family conflicts diminish the quality of life physically and emotionally, not to mention the problem of adjusting to a broken home, the problem of adjusting to new and ambiguous family roles, results in step families too.
Children’s academic performance in school is affected negatively. A child from a single parent home is less likely to perform as well academically as others from a two parent family. More also, most individuals who come from broken homes tend to have a variety of difficulties that can be referred to as maladjustment, antisocial behaviour, inter personal problems and self esteem problem. Suggestively, there are several ways to salvage family conflict situations rather than resorting to the monster – divorce’.
Accommodation:
It is a conscious attempt by one partner or the couple to focus less on their individual needs and more on the other. It is always the reflection of the desire to ensure that there is family and personal harmony; to preserve the relationships at all/one’s cost. This is the common practice among women who have many children; they decide to stay intact instead of divorce in the interest of their children.
Collaboration
In this case, both the husband and the wife could work together to find solution that is satisfactory to both parties. It is a situation where the husband, the wife and even the children win, depending on the situation, and the parties involved are satisfied with the solution they have arrived at peacefully.
Compromise
Compromise as a management strategy involves finding a reasonable mutual acceptable solution to family conflict that will be acceptable to both parties. Here the parties are assertive and particularly co-operative. It is often necessary where both parties are incompatible.
Problem-solving:
Problem solving as a strategy for managing family conflict involves the willingness to comprehend the problems that gave birth to the conflict and to solve the problems.
This is used when both parties need lasting solutions to their conflicts. It is also used when both parties see conflict as opportunity to improve an existing relationship.
Avoidance is another management strategy of family conflict. In this situation, the wife, husband child/children ignores the conflicting issues or even denies the significance of the issue in their life. It is a very simple way of ignoring the problem and ensuring that peace reigns in the family.
Further more good family life education is a strong strategy for managing family conflict.
The family as the cornerstone of the society is expected to provide stability, support and continuity to the world. Family conflicts are quire natural and inevitable and divorce is not always the last resort. Marriages could still workout even at the brink of collapse if couples learn to tolerate each others incompatibilities. It is undoubtful that divorce diminishes the quality of life of family members. Both physical and emotional difficulties may arise from divorce with untold hardship on the children. Considering all the options to a healthy family life, divorce, is therefore, not an answer to family instability.
