PALAVER of marriage culture is the prate, loquacious talk or conference on certainty of marriage culture.
Marriage is the social arrangement of living together in intimate daily life of a man and a woman continuing to grow intimately however in a polygamous parental home there are two or more mothers with only one father or husband but forbids a woman marrying two husbands at a time.
With the solemnization of the marriage, or wedding, the couple will meet in the husbands residence as husband and wife but obviously remain as strangers, though they are together, they still remain very different from each other, because cufture had never allowed them to meet and discuss matters as would be husband and wife ought to become.
In culture, the consummation of a marriage is the bedding of the couple on the first day of conspurcation as husband and wife. The newly wed are made to sleep on a bed spread with white bed sheet. Early in the morning of the following day, the bed sheet is thoroughly examined. The white bed sheet is expected to have spots of blood stain from the virgin new wife. If the blood is found on the bed sheet, the new wife is a virgin and is held in a very high esteem, together with her family for remaining a virgin till marriage.
This means that she will be faithful, truthful, and ‘not be wayward. She will be seen as a woman who will really be obedient to her husband since she had proved being obedient to her parents she will be the love and confidant of her husband, hence chastity before marriage, fidelity after marriage.
The stained bed sheet is given to the mother of the Bride. The mother receives the cloth Joyfully, proud with that cloth proving that she has trained her daughter and that her daughter kept herself pure. It is customary gift to give money twenty one shillings to the Bride’s mother for bringing her daughter up as a virgin.
After the Bride had slept with her husband, she wilt sweep the whole house, makes the kitchen tidy. She is given the materials, ingredients to cook her first food for the family. This is called Ikewu. It is the climax of Edo system of marriage culture. It is the seal and when a woman does this and the family had eaten, the Bride becomes a full fledged house wife with all authorities. The children born in the wedlock are rightful children. Normally, those in Diaspora invites friends, relations to dine with them as new wed, and they can testify whenever palaver comes.
In a situation where the blood is missing, it is taken that the Bride is not Virgin, therefore it is a disgrace not only to the Bride but also to her entire family. Some men reject such a woman but some men accept to live with such a woman with reservation. Such a woman will have the hard task of proving herself worthy of marriage, in spite of all Odds, she must prove that she could be trusted and relied on.
Chaperone is not to be worn by such a woman to the extent that their unmarried girls are chaperoned in the presence of males who are not part of the family. This is one of the reasons why couples don’t have intercourse until they marry officially; hence there is traditional meeting which educates aspirants or candidates on the contents of marriage.
In this way, the couples would know about themselves and the implications of marriage thereof. Married man who has only one sexual partner is very much respected by the people, but married men who indulge in unlimited sexual relations are contemptible of the society. Men of high morality are dignified by tradition.
A married man is meant to sleep only with his wife. A wayward man is punished by tradition, and looses only respect before his peers and the community but a wayward woman may loose her matrimonial home.
If a woman is married and the Bride price or dowry is not paid or part paid to the father or guardian of the girl or woman and services rendered, the contract can be annulled when the marriage has not been consummated in the husband’s house.
Where consummation of the marriage in the husband’s house is done properly, payment of Bride price completed, Freedom or divorce can be accepted for the woman on the ground that her husband is impotent at the time of marriage, Loathsome disease, cruelty involving bodily harm, deserting of the man from the woman for more than three years, or not caring for the woman at pregnancy, at birth or after birth.
Wife who ran away from her husband for years and the where about of the woman is unknown, the man can marry another woman. Inheritance can only be claimed through the Male line or offsprings; and when a husband dies, the wife is free to marry whom she likes.
A child born out of wedlock, either before or after marriage can be claimed by the natural real father.
A woman marrying into neighbouring tribes is subjected to the custom and tradition of the husband. Matrimonial disputes or palavers can be heard in the jurisdiction where the woman was born, or where the Bride price or dowry is paid.
Marriage expenses may be claimed by a husband putting away his wife on adultery palaver or other serious offence. Charge of adultery can only be made against a woman after consummation of the marriage tie with the husband in his own house. .. Taboo (awua) can be purified.
In the tradition, many problems such as covert of another person’s wife, goods, adultery, misbehaviour, disobedience, promiscuity, madness, neglect, childlessness may be the cause of palaver and lack of Male child in the marriage has simmered a gigantic problem. it is very important that male offspring is born in each family to continue the Lineage, but some people argue that they need children of any gender to call an offspring; whereas, some people have father who wields power, wealth and fame, the name often overshadow the Lineage of subsequent males among the palaver of marriage culture.
