It is often said that behind every successful man is a great woman. The wife of one of the most famous names in literature, Nathaniel Hawthorne, was probably one of such women.
Sophia Hawthorne secretly set aside in few dollars each week savings that eventually grew large enough to support them both for a year. You see, Sophia believed that her husband would one day be a great writer. When Hawthorne came home and announced in disgrace that he had been fired from his job in a custom house, Sophia presented him with the money, saying, ‘Now you can write your book.’ Her confidence and encouragement led to the birth of one of America’s celebrated classic novels, The Scarlet Thread.
This story is a story of encouragement from a spouse to help a spouse to fulfil God’s purpose. Your spouse is not what happened to them, they are what they choose to become and by encouragement, you can help them fulfil God’s purpose.
As a spouse, l want you to know that sometimes things happen; your spouse can make mistakes, make bad choices and decisions. As a spouse, should you abandon them or disregard them? Or leave them alone to perish or get stuck in their mess? Even in situations where your spouse doesn’t really treat you right, my honest answer is, please encourage your spouse. The opposite of love in marriage is not hate, it is indifference. Indifference in a marriage is a state where you don’t care about what happens and what concerns your spouse. Have you ever felt or got stuck in that feeling of indifference or are you currently on that street of indifference, maybe because of your spouse’s bad attitude? My dear, you are not alone. Most marriages have been stuck like that before but to have a thriving intimate marriage, you have to let go of the offences. Marriage is made for couples to complement and encourage each other.
It is very important to appreciate your spouse as an individual with unique motivation and experiences. Encourage and build bridges across the different experiences and foster more understanding by encouraging your spouse to greatness. Your spouse may be stuck with procrastination, fear of failure, lack of control of impulse. l need you to know that behind those behaviours may be trauma. Trauma can disrupt your spouse’s sense of safety, self-worth and control, making it challenging to engage in tasks that trigger discomfort or fear. Procrastination, therefore, can become a coping mechanism, providing temporary relief from the distress associated with confronting a challenging situation.
Before you beat your spouse down with negative word to complete task or do anything you are currently complaining about, please l beg you, offer your spouse grace, compassion and encouragement. Such things in your spouse go deeper than what you see. Traumatic events and other difficult experiences can have lasting effects on your spouse. In spite of that, you can bring out the best of your spouse just by telling them those daily words of encouragement.
Some seasons of life or events that you should stand to encourage your spouse include: in seasons when your spouse is betrayed by the the people they helped; in seasons when they are abandoned by family, friends and business partners; in seasons when people dishonour your spouse because others spoke lies about them or misinterpreted their actions or made up a story to rubbish their integrity; in seasons where you noticed your spouse is stuck in a rut but you are sensitive to encourage them to discover that gift or potential of theirs that can turn into a profitable enterprise worth admiring.
Encourage your spouse to develop their capacity and scale their operations as business owners with technology.
How to encourage your spouse for a thriving intimate marriage
Your spouse doesn’t have to be perfectly perfect to be worthy of your love, care, respect and commitment; just encourage them by loving and accepting them unconditionally.
Your spouse doesn’t have to stop making excuses for making mistakes; just encourage them to learn from their mistake and face their reality.
In difficult times, encourage your spouse by being understanding, kind, compassionate. Treat your spouse with kindness, encourage them to bounce back from setback; encourage them with positive affirmation; help them to overcome their negative self-talk, self-doubt and limited belief system.
It is very important to celebrate your spouse’s success and compliment them no matter how big or small. Being kind and considerate to you spouse will help them find meaning and lessons in every stage and phase of your marriage.
When you encourage you spouse, they will be more open to self-reflection and growth. A thriving intimate marriage is a reality with your hand-work and heart-work.
