May 15th is International Day of the family. It is a celebration that has to do with those who belong to one family or another. It is a day set aside to reflect on the important role the family plays in human and social development. The theme of this year’s International Day of the Family is Families and inclusive societies.
One of the basic unit of the society that is gradually fading away is the family institution. The family has to do with people who are related by birth or marriage. Specifically, the family comprises of the father, the mother and children. Although there are so many challenges facing the modern family, most people still see the family as the best gift of God to humanity. We shall reflect briefly on some of those challenges and some of the reasons why we still see the family as an important and indispensable institution.
The family plays a vital role in the development of every individual in the society. It is a place where children are given birth to. a place where human life is nurtured. The family is a place where we find support and security. It is a place of solidarity. As the saying goes, East or West home remains the best. The Family provides one with protection and even identity. Family is a place where one experience love and care. It is also a place where one is very much understood and accepted irrespective of his or her weaknesses. The family Protects one from external influences. It assists one in decision-making. Human life and character are shaped within the family.
Ronaldinho see the family as everything. According to him, “My family is everything. I am what I am thanks to my mother, my father, my brother, my sister… because they have given me everything. The education I have is thanks to them.” Like this young football player, we must be grateful to God for the gift of our family. Most of the things we have achieved in this life were made possible through the help of our family members. Our parents were the first to educate us and they even sponsored us through former education. That is why we must be grateful to them and other members of our family.
The family has an important and indispensable role to play in the promotion of peaceful and inclusive societies for sustainable development. As Charity begins at home, most of the developments we have in our world today emanated from the family. The family has produced great men and women in the society. It is the first place where human development takes place. Most human beings are nurtured and cherished in and within a family.
Ban Ki-moon, the UN Secretary-General highlights the role of the family as he declares, “By providing economic and emotional sustenance to their members, families can raise productive, caring citizens committed to the common good.” According to him, well-functioning families, whatever form they may take, can help reduce poverty, improve the wellbeing of mothers, promote gender equality and uphold human rights.” In a nutshell, the family plays an important role in the actualization of most of the sustainable development goals. Without the families these goals cannot be actualized. To carry the families along is to carry everyone along; and this is what inclusive society is all about. All hands must be on deck!
There are so many challenges facing the modern families. So many families are in deep trouble, some families are at the verge of disintegration. Broken homes and broken marriages and families has increased rapidly. Poverty and high cost of living has destabilize so many families. Gay union is a major threat to family life, especially in most Western societies. In Africa the issue of poverty and other cultural practices threatens the wellbeing and stability of the family. The constant killings in Nigeria as a result of insurgencies, Herdsmen and farmers clashes, tribal and religious war has destroyed so many parents leaving their children orphaned.
Marital Separation is a major problem facing the stability of the family. A lot of couples are separated because of job. Some partners are even living abroad. A good number of young couples have not met as husband and wife for more than five years. In that case, how can they build a befitting families without living together? Some of them feel consoled by charting on phone, especially through Whatsapp. But can phone ever get a woman impregnated? No way!
Co-habiting and the Fear of making a lifelong commitment: The fear of the unknown and most of the abuses in marriage has giving rise to a new idea of family. Family is no longer seen as a life-long institution. Most people are now settling down for contract marriage or co-habitation which has nothing to do with marriage proper. Single-parenthood is another modern phenomenon that is gradually destroying the marriage and family institution. Nowadays you often find mothers living without their husband. They prefer to raise their children all alone. The family is, however, incomplete without husband and wife living together!
Barrenness or marital infertility is a major problem facing most families here in Africa. So many cultures and even religions believes that child birth is the essence of marriage. For them therefore the family is incomplete without children. Unfortunately there are so many couples that have lived together for years without any issue. Those couples are facing all kinds of attacks and ridicules, especially from mothers and even in-laws.
Polygamy: The idea of marrying more than one wife or marrying and re-marrying is common in most African society. You often see men getting married to more than one wives. Some do so because they are looking for a male child others justify their polygamy because their wives, they claim are completely barren. As the saying goes, a kingdom divided among itself cannot stand. Polygamy is a divided marriage and a divided marriage can only give rise to a divided family.
Influence of Pornography and Mass Media: So many families are torn apart because of pornography. Some couples are addicted to Mass Media that they no longer have time for their partners. Facebook and other Mass Media has created platform where people can chart freely with friends they may not even know. Some foolish couples spend most of their precious time charting with these unseen friends. Pornographic materials are now accessible to couples and even children. This has affected the marriage and families so drastically that couples are no longer attracted to themselves.
Parental irresponsibility: Most of the modern families today are civil servants and businessmen who spend more time in their offices and business centres. They have little or no time for their couples and even children. Some parents come home late at night that even before their arrival their children are already sleeping and the next day they leave very early in the morning for business trips. By so doing, they leave their parental responsibility to their house mates.
Pope Francis sees some of the new ideological colonization as a major threat to modern family. He warn against what he calls new ideological colonization: “Beware of the new ideological colonization that tries to destroy the family. It’s not born of the dream that we have from God and prayer – it comes from outside and that’s why I call it a colonization. Let us not lose the freedom to take forward the mission God has given us, the mission of the family. And just as our peoples were able to say in the past “No” to the period of colonization, as families we have to be very wise and strong to say “No” to any attempted ideological colonization that could destroy the family.” From all indication, Gay union is one of the new ideological colonization which the Holy Father warns against.
In response to some of these challenges facing the modern families, on December 12, 2012 we started an association of married couples known as Christian Families Organisation. This association is open to all legally married men and women who really want their marriage to succeed. We meet every first Sunday of the Month at Maryland Egoro Amede, Ekpoma Edo State of Nigeria at 10 am. Married couples use this medium to renew their marital vows. They share their challenges and success stories, thereby encouraging one another.
How does one know members of the Christian families Organisation? Very simple, By their uniform and wedding rings you shall know them! We encourage husband and wife to appear on uniform, especially when going to the church, any official gather and of course, their monthly prayer meeting here at Maryland Egoro Amede Ekpoma, every 1st Sunday of the month.
Finally, as we celebrate this year’s International Day of the Family I want to use this medium to wish all our family members and well wishers, especially married couples, Happy family day!
