Can distance in a relationship strengthen the bond or lead to wandering hearts? This question raises the complexities of love and distance.
Long distance relationships can be overbearing. I’ve rarely encountered anyone who said, “Yeah, my boyfriend lives 14 hours away and I’m comfortable.” On the contrary, majority of people in a long distance relationship end up with that agonizing feeling of longing that their hearts are slowly being carved out of their chest and replaced with unsatisfactory video calls and limited online messages.
Long distance relationships are romantic relationships where the partners are physically separated by distance. They require trust, communication, and commitment to make them work.
Some people find long distance relationships challenging, but others find it as fulfilling as being together in person, but it all depends on the individuals involved and how they navigate the distance.
The Nigerian Observer took to the streets to feel the pulse of the youths regarding long distance relationships. Here are the responses we got:
Tracy
“No, I don’t like it because my last relationship was a long distance relationship and it didn’t end well; there’s no physical contact.”
Mercy
“No, as an emotional person, I like my partner’s company, I like him being around to ensure a connection.”
Chidera
“I actually don’t mind a long distance relationship because I feel with communication, it can work out, and as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.”
Ijeoma
“Yes, I prefer long distance relationship because it would last for a season and wouldn’t last forever. It enables personal development and growth as we would spend time apart to ensure this.”
Osayi
“No, I don’t prefer long distance relationship because attention seeking is not accessible; I’ll want to talk to my partner physically as physical touch enhances relationships.”
You see, it is different strokes for different folks, as they say. But although such relationships are becoming increasingly common, the perception still remains that the success rate is low, as they are susceptible to certain challenges.
Loneliness can pose a significant challenge in long distance relationships, as individuals when physically separated may experience a sense of isolation and yearning for their partner’s presence. The absence of shared daily moments, physical touch, and shared experiences can intensify these feelings. Such emotions can potentially lead to doubts or insecurities about the relationship.
Communication poses a challenge whereby the physical separation of partners often hinders the ability to engage in timely and meaningful conversations, owing to the differences in time zones and demanding schedules. The reliance on text-based communication can also lead to misinterpretations due to the absence of non-verbal cues and facial expressions.
Lack of physical intimacy is another significant challenge in long distance relationships. Because partners are separated by distance, the ability to engage in physical touch, shared experiences, and everyday moments is lessened. This can also lead to feelings of longing, frustration, and even doubts about the relationship.
Trust is also a challenge in long distance relationships, as partners are physically separated and it can be difficult to maintain a sense of security and confidence in the relationship. The distance can give rise to doubts, insecurities, and fears of infidelity or betrayal.
When it comes to long distance relationships, drifting apart and fading feelings can be significant challenges. This sometimes leads to a gradual emotional distance between partners. The lack of shared experiences and daily interactions can make it harder to maintain the same level of emotional connection, which can contribute to feelings of loneliness and detachment.
As love scholar Meghan Daum says, “Distance is not for the fearful, it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone and exchange for a little time with the one they love.”
Daum says that not all long distances relationships fail, but it takes a lot of efforts to ensure its success.
Below are a few tips for surviving a long distance relationship:
Make communication constant: Communication is a cornerstone of any successful relationship, as it entails finding ways to connect and stay in touch. Partners should endeavour to regularize communication, be open and honest with each other about certain issues, resolve conflicts with care, share little moments with each other, be mindful of each other’s schedules, and make extensive use of communication channels to stay connected.
Set goals and a timeline: This survival method is beneficial in a long distance relationship as it provides a sense of direction to partners, enabling them to define their relationship goals, structure a timeline to actualising these outlined goals, make a regular progress evaluation and celebrate achievements together.
Make time for each other: Partners in a long distance relationship are encouraged to schedule communication and be present to ensure it, get creative with activities, plan visits, surprise each other, be understanding and find ways to accommodate each other’s needs.
Pursue individual interest: This survival pointer is important as it entails each individual in a long distance relationship ensuring personal growth, maintaining a sense of independence, engaging in activities that impact one’s emotional well-being, and striking a balance with the relationship.
Staying positive and being supportive: Attitude is everything as it plays a significant role in how one perceives and handles the challenges in a long distance relationship. This drives the need for positivity, uplifting each other by being empathetic, celebrating each other’s milestones, being flexible and understanding, ensuring trust and security, and overall focusing on the future.
Every relationship is unique, and it’s important to find what works best for you and your partner. Endeavour to stay committed, maintain open communication, and cherish the precious moments you have together, regardless of the distance between you. By placing importance on these aspects, you can steer the challenges of a long distance relationship and build a strong and lasting connection.
